Ferber Pt. 2

I believe that the Ferber method is working very well for Charles-Winston. He's sleeping for much longer now that he knows how to self soothe. Today he's slept for two 2-hour naps, whereas normally he only sleeps for 30-90 minutes a day and he is cranky. I'm glad this is beginning to work. Last night he only woke up four times and soothed himself in under 30 minutes each time. Which was a large improvement from the night before last. 

     I honestly believe that he's happier now than he was before we began, so this has really made a difference in our lives. As sad as it makes me during the night, I know it's what's best for him and it's really, really been a blessing for our family. So thank you Dr. Ferber. 

Dr. Ferber's Progressive-Waiting Approch

I'm not repeating it. The title of this post is what we've been doing. It sucks, a lot. Last night Charles-Winston woke up approximately every 90-100 minutes and proceeded to cry for approximately 1-2 hours following that wake up. Nobody got a lot of sleep. We definitely didn't and I'm sure our neighbors didn't either. 

     It wasn't physically or mentally difficult, but it was emotionally exhausting. I know it's for the best and that fact pared with Benjamin's unceasing guidance is what got Charles-Winston and I through the night and continuing Dr. Ferber's Method. 

     Watching our baby cry and reach out for us only to find that we were perpetually out of reach was extremely upsetting for both parents. Luckily, he's holding no grudges, he seems even happier today than usual.

     Tonight will be better, I hope. They say he'll be okay by the third or fourth night. Today is night two, wish us luck.

Main man

Trying to grab the water

I didn't get to see my little man today very much. I was doing a lot of things and my mom wanted to watch him for a while - well, one thing turned into another and it's now 7:30 and I haven't seen my baby boy for over 6 hours now. It's not terrible, but I just wish he was with me. I feel like a piece of my heart is missing when he's gone.

     What's new? We are trying the FERBER METHOD, also known as the Progressive-Waiting Sleep Training. A very brief summary of it is let your baby teach themselves to fall asleep without needing a sleep aid (such as rocking, or feeding). So, we're going to let him cry and then reassure him that everything is alright and then leave again.

     Dr. Ferber says that the baby will be sleeping through the night and able to put themselves to sleep within a few days, which is fantastic because that's exactly the amount of time I'm willing to wait before I get frustrated and try something else. So, here's the chart:

Stand crawling?

     

    Seems pretty legit, everyone I've talked to about this has said it works miracles. So, we'll see how it goes tonight and I'll post a blog about it tomorrow.

     Next item on the agenda is an update on his crawling. He's so close, I can almost smell it! He wants it so bad! He's scooting around more than ever and he's trying to stand up, which doesn't work too well... But it helps motivate him. I just cannot wait for a mobile baby! I'm seriously so stoked.

KISSES

Weird kid. Really, really weird kid. He is going through a phase or something, he's just very grumpy and fussy, the baltic amber necklace helps a ton, though. Last night was terrible - we didn't get him to sleep until 11:00pm, and had been trying since 8:30 (his usual bed time). Naps are never long enough and not nearly close enough together; the other day he only took one 1 hour nap.

     Another weird thing is that he is hating change? He hates his diaper changed, his clothes changed, he hates a change of scenery. Anything different, he hates. Usually my mom comes to see him in the mornings, she missed three mornings in a row and he was acting like the world was over! I mean, I can understand that he loves his grandma and he needs stability, but our lives are stable and moderately consistent. I think whatever is going on, he must be going through something. 

     Also, today he was very lovey; he was giving kisses to everyone (including our neighbor, Parker)! He's so full of love and weird things, I can't help but adore the kid.

 

Precious moments

We went to the Loveland Living Planet Aquarium for my birthday and it was spectacular! Charles-Winston was a bit fussy throughout our busy day, but other than that he did wonderfully.

     First we went into the shark tunnel where Charles-Winston was kicking his legs in excitement as we watched the fish swim overhead. We continued into the Tropical fish exhibit, where they kept fish as well as birds and Charles-Winston was screeching right along with the birds we heard. After that came the penguin enclosure, he LOVED penguins! He had more excitement towards those short, flightless birds than I've ever seen displayed. Last, but surely not least we watched the otters wrestling and playing together, in and out of water. Charles-Winston loved it but in a much sweeter, precious way. He kept giving the otters "kisses", he'd lean in with his mouth open and make a short sucking sound on the glass over and over and over as he has so frequently demonstrated towards loved ones. 

     I went to the aquarium to see the fish, but got so much more satisfaction out of watching my son's reactions that I ended up looking at him almost the entire time.

"kissing" the otters

laughing at the penguins

Exciting things are happening!

Charles-Winston is crawling! Well, not so much crawling as a mixture between scooting and army crawling, but we're still very excited. I've been waiting for the day that I can say with confidence that my baby is mobile, and today is that day! Benjamin and I couldn't be prouder of him. Benjamin is the most excited I've ever seen him, he's about to burst with pride and joy, and of course I'm just beaming. I feel like screaming "THAT'S MY SON!" and sharing this moment with the entire world. 

     The second thing I have been waiting to brag about is the fact that Charles-Winston is HUGE! When we took him in for his shots, he finally got classified as something besides the 30th percentile, and advanced all the way up to the 58th percentile! He's wearing all 6-9 month clothes, which is in his age category, so it's not super fascinating, but this kid was wearing size newborn for the first three months of his life. 

     We have some rough days, but overall I'm so in love with my boy, I'm so in love with my family and I'm so in love with my life.

Today

      Today I don’t want to be a mom.

     What’s wrong with me? I love being a mom, in fact there is nothing I love more. Charles-Winston is being more difficult than usual; I haven’t been able to find a reprieve. I’m just sick of everyone depending on me. There’s endless yelling and screaming. I’m sick of Benjamin not being able to do ANYTHING without me. And I’m so, so, extremely tired of everybody trying to feed my baby things that aren’t age appropriate! Can’t he just eat his baby food? He’s happy with it, why isn’t anyone else?

     Today his crying is grating on my last nerve and its taking everything I have not to just hole up and hide away. I’m coping with my stress and anxiety, just not in the kind way that I normally choose to.  I only have patience for Charles-Winston, not for my cousins, not for my siblings, not even for Benjamin.

     Charles-Winston kept me up a lot last night and only took one nap that lasted one hour today.

     Today it sucks to be a mom.

Date night

Benjamin and I left Charles-Winston behind with our friends and went out to dinner. I had terrible anxiety leading up to it, but in all honesty, it was really, really nice. Being baby-free for a few hours was more relieving than I could've imagined. Benjamin and I decided to keep the conversation off Charles-Winston and make tonight about just us. I think a date night was long overdue, it was actually fun, nice and probably good for our marriage.

     Our friends, Logan, Kura and Parker said Charles-Winston had a lot of fun and was pretty mellow the whole time, which was good to hear because he always behaves mischievously when I'm his designated caretaker. 

     We had a really good time, and we did it without our kid. Tonight I realized it's completely alright to focus on me sometimes - meet my needs first and allow someone else to take care of the baby. 

The story of us

It was 2012 and I was in love. I was convinced I was gonna marry him. His name was Dane and we'd been dating for a year when I met Benjamin. 
     Benjamin was everything Dane wasn't. It was so easy and natural for me to be around Benjamin, with Dane things were confusing and frustrating. They couldn't be less similar. He was daring, funny, restrained, he loved things that I hated, he wasn't a bad boy but he definitely wasn't a good one. I didn't realize I was in love with Benjamin for a long, long time. 

     Benjamin and I couldn't get enough of each other. I didn't know I could be such best friends with someone. We were extremely opposite, but similar enough to compromise. Benjamin was the most caring male I'd ever met. He was so sweet and kind and gentle. I found myself staying up at night thinking about him. When we started dating, in November of 2012 we couldn't get enough of each other, we built blanket forts, we experimentally made vegan foods, etc., it didn't matter what we did as long as we were together.

     I wasn't surprised when I found out I was pregnant in April. I think somewhere in my subconscious I already knew. So, we moved in together and Benjamin supported me and our unborn child. 
     Since we had Charles-Winston our marriage has been sort of rocky, but I think it's on the mend now that he is sleeping better. It's really hard to feel loving towards someone when all you want to do is deck them. 
     It'd be hard for me to understand how two completely different people could love each other so passionately if I wasn't one of them.
     I'm so proud that Benjamin stepped up to the plate and became the father and husband he is today, he's such a great influence on both Charles-Winston and I. We can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together.