Today

      Today I don’t want to be a mom.

     What’s wrong with me? I love being a mom, in fact there is nothing I love more. Charles-Winston is being more difficult than usual; I haven’t been able to find a reprieve. I’m just sick of everyone depending on me. There’s endless yelling and screaming. I’m sick of Benjamin not being able to do ANYTHING without me. And I’m so, so, extremely tired of everybody trying to feed my baby things that aren’t age appropriate! Can’t he just eat his baby food? He’s happy with it, why isn’t anyone else?

     Today his crying is grating on my last nerve and its taking everything I have not to just hole up and hide away. I’m coping with my stress and anxiety, just not in the kind way that I normally choose to.  I only have patience for Charles-Winston, not for my cousins, not for my siblings, not even for Benjamin.

     Charles-Winston kept me up a lot last night and only took one nap that lasted one hour today.

     Today it sucks to be a mom.