Friday, July 18, 2014

Simply today

So, today we went to Walmart and perused - Charles-Winston loved it. I try to get out of the house at least once a day, even if it's just to walk around somewhere with air conditioning. We put him in that weird blue, cushion-y thing (pictured in post He's turning into a person) so he could sit in the kid holding spot without falling over and hurting himself; he kept looking all over the place, I showed him some hallmark cards and we bought potato wedges and he ate one of those. It surely wasn't anything interesting, but he really loved it.
     I took my mom's car through the car wash and he was so freaked out, it was comical. I had my sister hold his hand and comfort him. He was wide eyed the entire time, and he kept whipping his head left and right, at times so quickly it looked like an indecisive cartoon character. I spent the entire time laughing at his reaction and enjoying it. When we got to the vacuuming part, Benjamin sucked up his hand and he screamed with enjoyment, I think he thought it tickled. 
     He's the most enjoyable thing to be around, he brings excitement and laughter with him wherever he goes. I love all the small things he does, every day is a new adventure full of discoveries with Charles-Winston.


Being a mother

Being a mother means a lot of things to me. It means that I sacrifice showering every day for the off chance that my baby could be upset for one second while I'm unavailable. It means that in some twisted way, I enjoy being woken up every night. It means that I now never buy anything for myself because I actually want to buy him meaningless things that he'll never remember - he has drawers of toys and I only have one pair of actual pants (that fit since I gave birth).
     Being a parent is a strange phenomenon, I think my brain must've gone through some sort of transformation after I gave birth. Charles-Winston is the best thing that's ever happened to me, even though I get pounded night after night waking up all the time with no recovery period. I used to think I was tired before I was a mom. Now, sex is planned, it's a miracle if I sleep through the night, showering more than twice a week is a godsend, and infant tylenol is a blessing - none of these things even occurred to me before I had a kid.
     And yet I love it. More than anything I've ever done before, I enjoy it with every cell of my being. I'm good at being a mother, I'm really good at it and I take pride in that. 
     I gave Charles-Winston a heartbeat, but he gave me a life.