Being a mother means a lot of things to me. It means that I sacrifice showering every day for the off chance that my baby could be upset for one second while I'm unavailable. It means that in some twisted way, I enjoy being woken up every night. It means that I now never buy anything for myself because I actually want to buy him meaningless things that he'll never remember - he has drawers of toys and I only have one pair of actual pants (that fit since I gave birth).
Being a parent is a strange phenomenon, I think my brain must've gone through some sort of transformation after I gave birth. Charles-Winston is the best thing that's ever happened to me, even though I get pounded night after night waking up all the time with no recovery period. I used to think I was tired before I was a mom. Now, sex is planned, it's a miracle if I sleep through the night, showering more than twice a week is a godsend, and infant tylenol is a blessing - none of these things even occurred to me before I had a kid.
And yet I love it. More than anything I've ever done before, I enjoy it with every cell of my being. I'm good at being a mother, I'm really good at it and I take pride in that.
I gave Charles-Winston a heartbeat, but he gave me a life.
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