The worst night of my life.

Seven months ago, today we brought Charles-Winston home from the hospital. It took the spot of most horrible night of my life. Benjamin and I were at each other's throats and Charles-Winston woke up more frequently than every hour. I hated everything about that night. I think Charles-Winston "woke up for the day" around 3am. I hated everything. I think we were still in that weird haze of shock and emotionlessness that followed the birth of our first (and hopefully only) child.
     I asked Benjamin what he remembered most from that night and he said "Not sleeping. Holding him all night long." We both agree that we had never been more exhausted than during those first three days after Charles-Winston was born.
     The day was good though, we came home from the hospital and we were excited to show our newborn our home and everything we'd prepared for him. We showed him his crib, and his stuffed animals. We showed him every square inch of our duplex. We were so excited for everything and I think Charles-Winston was just overstimulated and overwhelmed.
     Oh, the progress he's made! I almost can't believe he's the same kid. I honestly was not fond of him for a while, and I didn't feel like it was worth everything I've put into it until about three or four months in. Currently, I'm falling more and more in love with him every day.

No news is good news

Well, folks, it's the moment you've all been waiting for (drumroll please)... I'm going back to school! I'm taking a full schedule of classes and so far I've started biology and math. This means my blog posts may be postponed, but check back from time to time and you'll surely see how we're doing.

     Today, Charles-Winston ripped out one of my piercings, as well as scratched my inner lip skin off (it bled), so obviously I'm not feeling too fond of him at the moment. He's been a huge pig too, so I think he's growing or something, he's also refusing to nap very much which has resulted in ultra-grumpiness. But he turned 7 months old today! We're very excited about it, we celebrated by giving him a teeny bit of ice cream.

     Nothing else is really new in our lives. But I will say that Charles-Winston is now completely self-reliant when it comes to sleeping. Last night he slept from 8:30pm-8:30am He gets himself to sleep and if awoken during the night he'll now soothe himself back to sleep. Dr. Ferber has saved us from ripping our eyeballs out, the only thing I wish we'd done differently is started sooner. 

The devilish angel

Today we bought Charles-Winston this "big boy" car seat. He hates it. We got this one because it has cup holders, he puts his feet in them like stirrups. I also suspect that he disagrees with the red upholstery.      

     He fell asleep in the grocery cart while eating a potato wedge while I was scrutinizing Wal-Mart's ice cream section today, as well. After I'd made my selection, I faced him once again and realized he had fallen asleep. He was face down; his potato wedge was crushed and smeared across his face. I turned him over and he slept through me accidentally ramming the cart into several display aisles.

     A lot of old folks live in our area, so they all "oooh"'d and "awwww"'d at the sight of him sleeping so peacefully. The cashier at the "20 items or less" checkout stand even remarked on how angel-like he appeared, and I responded "Don't be fooled, Wal-Mart associate, he's more of a devil". She seemed highly offended, but it wasn't a problem because my transaction was over at that point. 

My bundle of joy

I have such a funny kid; today we went to my uncle's house and there was a caribou mounted on the wall, Charles-Winston was jumping up and down and breathing heavily and screaming and reaching out for it. He loved it for some reason, that's basically all we did today - watched as he loved this dead animal head. 

     Teaching Charles-Winston baby sign language was one of the smartest decisions we've made as parents. I don't know where we'd be without it. I love that I'm able to communicate with him and it's obvious he loves being able to communicate with us. It's a godsend. He knows the difference between "food", "milk" and "more", so he'll let us know exactly what he wants. He's in the process of learning "mom" and "dad", so far that's all he knows, but we're gonna teach him everything we can.

     I love this boy, and it's quite apparent that everyone who meets him does as well. He's spectacular and curious and full of joy and energy. His charisma is indescribable and his personality takes over. He laughs at everyone and he hugs and kisses everyone. He loves life and it loves him.

Loving life

Well, Charles-Winston is eager to crawl and he's doing really, really well. Today we got him some glass bottles that have straws in them so he can sit up to eat(; Benjamin did a little hacking so they'd function that way). 

     He's just enjoying life, he's so much easier to care for than he was before he could do things on his own. I think I love him now more because of that, I know that's blunt, but it's truer than true. I love being a mom, it's the best thing in the world. Charles-Winston resists cuddling no matter what cost, so sometimes I have to force him.

     Life is good, everything is exactly how I want it - although not exactly as I dreamed it would be, but I believe that it's almost better because of that. I wouldn't change a single thing.

     Before I go, update on the Ferber thing - tonight he put himself to sleep with no tears! Last night we only got up with him one time, he's doing so well and I'm really glad we tried this. 

Guppies, and clothes and skills, oh my!

The pet fish that I've previously mentioned had a weird pattern of behavior. First, one extremely fat fish (Sherry) died about 6 days ago, then I got two new fish, one of those died the very next day, so I got a new one totaling in three guppies altogether with two dead. Last night my sister and I found two baby guppies (also known as fry). When were these born? Where are the rest? Who is the mother? 

     So now, not only am I a mother, I'm also a guppy fry caretaker - and these little shits need a lot more than you'd think. Sensing the general enthusiasm, Charles-Winston's even more animated than usual about the fish. I'm actually very surprised at what a large role these aquatic creatures play in my life - I sort of thought that they'd just be in the background and nobody would really notice or care about them, but some people seem to be very big fans.

     I went to shopping and was surprised to find my (almost) seven month old wears size 9-12!

     July was a big month for our baby boy, he began to sit unsupported, feed himself (bottle as well as finger foods), sleep through the night, communicate in baby sign language, say words (baba, mama, dada, papa, etc.), clap, he became mobile, last and definitely least, he learned how to straighten his body so he doesn't have to sit in the car seat.

Ferber Pt. 2

I believe that the Ferber method is working very well for Charles-Winston. He's sleeping for much longer now that he knows how to self soothe. Today he's slept for two 2-hour naps, whereas normally he only sleeps for 30-90 minutes a day and he is cranky. I'm glad this is beginning to work. Last night he only woke up four times and soothed himself in under 30 minutes each time. Which was a large improvement from the night before last. 

     I honestly believe that he's happier now than he was before we began, so this has really made a difference in our lives. As sad as it makes me during the night, I know it's what's best for him and it's really, really been a blessing for our family. So thank you Dr. Ferber. 

Dr. Ferber's Progressive-Waiting Approch

I'm not repeating it. The title of this post is what we've been doing. It sucks, a lot. Last night Charles-Winston woke up approximately every 90-100 minutes and proceeded to cry for approximately 1-2 hours following that wake up. Nobody got a lot of sleep. We definitely didn't and I'm sure our neighbors didn't either. 

     It wasn't physically or mentally difficult, but it was emotionally exhausting. I know it's for the best and that fact pared with Benjamin's unceasing guidance is what got Charles-Winston and I through the night and continuing Dr. Ferber's Method. 

     Watching our baby cry and reach out for us only to find that we were perpetually out of reach was extremely upsetting for both parents. Luckily, he's holding no grudges, he seems even happier today than usual.

     Tonight will be better, I hope. They say he'll be okay by the third or fourth night. Today is night two, wish us luck.

Main man

Trying to grab the water

I didn't get to see my little man today very much. I was doing a lot of things and my mom wanted to watch him for a while - well, one thing turned into another and it's now 7:30 and I haven't seen my baby boy for over 6 hours now. It's not terrible, but I just wish he was with me. I feel like a piece of my heart is missing when he's gone.

     What's new? We are trying the FERBER METHOD, also known as the Progressive-Waiting Sleep Training. A very brief summary of it is let your baby teach themselves to fall asleep without needing a sleep aid (such as rocking, or feeding). So, we're going to let him cry and then reassure him that everything is alright and then leave again.

     Dr. Ferber says that the baby will be sleeping through the night and able to put themselves to sleep within a few days, which is fantastic because that's exactly the amount of time I'm willing to wait before I get frustrated and try something else. So, here's the chart:

Stand crawling?

     

    Seems pretty legit, everyone I've talked to about this has said it works miracles. So, we'll see how it goes tonight and I'll post a blog about it tomorrow.

     Next item on the agenda is an update on his crawling. He's so close, I can almost smell it! He wants it so bad! He's scooting around more than ever and he's trying to stand up, which doesn't work too well... But it helps motivate him. I just cannot wait for a mobile baby! I'm seriously so stoked.

KISSES

Weird kid. Really, really weird kid. He is going through a phase or something, he's just very grumpy and fussy, the baltic amber necklace helps a ton, though. Last night was terrible - we didn't get him to sleep until 11:00pm, and had been trying since 8:30 (his usual bed time). Naps are never long enough and not nearly close enough together; the other day he only took one 1 hour nap.

     Another weird thing is that he is hating change? He hates his diaper changed, his clothes changed, he hates a change of scenery. Anything different, he hates. Usually my mom comes to see him in the mornings, she missed three mornings in a row and he was acting like the world was over! I mean, I can understand that he loves his grandma and he needs stability, but our lives are stable and moderately consistent. I think whatever is going on, he must be going through something. 

     Also, today he was very lovey; he was giving kisses to everyone (including our neighbor, Parker)! He's so full of love and weird things, I can't help but adore the kid.